How to Start and/or Stop an Argument

Being a part of any relationship for a period of time affords an individual the opportunity to learn what works and what doesn’t with each respective person. I may be able to discuss politics with Uncle Joe but Aunt Sue? Never! He’s open minded to other people’s views and enjoys a lively debate. Aunt Sue, on the other hand, is opinionated, is a right-fighter (one who always has to be right as Dr. Phil refers to them), and becomes nasty with those who disagree with her. I can joke around with my husband and refer to him as my “hairless honey” but my friend Steve is very sensitive about his lack of locks.

One of my favorite topics to discuss is God. I’m madly in love with Him and like a teenage who’s fallen in love for the first time, I can’t stop thinking and talking about Him. But try to have a discussion about our Lord with a defensive non believer and you may be in for a rough ride. (I learned that lesson the hard way on facebook – some of them can get down-right ugly!)

We all know what topics we can discuss with certain people and which ones to avoid. We also know what turns a harmless discussion into a vicious argument. (A disagreement is not synonymous with argument by the way. The first is simply a difference of opinion. The latter engenders hostility and sometimes aggression.) Granted, there are those who love the drama – they seek out opportunities to incite a good fight. I’m not one of them. While I enjoy a good debate, I abhor arguing and will do my best to avoid it. Then, too, there are some who engage in a discussion and wonder why every conversation results in quarreling and hurt feelings. “People are so sensitive! Everything you say they take the wrong way.” They fail to recognize their own contributions to the contamination of the dialogue.

Here are some surefire tips to convert any conversation into an argument:
• Know what issues the other party is sensitive to or passionate about. Engage one of those topics for discussion.
• Know what to say or do to provoke them, being certain to push their buttons whenever possible.
• Infuse a hefty dose of criticism, sarcasm, and insults. Insert a few expletives and round it off with a threat or two for good measure.
• Always be right. Never admit to being mistaken about anything.
• Be as arrogant and close minded as possible. Never listen to or consider the other person’s position.
• Exaggerate and embellish whenever possible. This will certainly destroy your credibility.

If you would prefer to keep things civil, try the following:
• Refuse to engage in highly sensitive or provoking topics. Don’t initiate or participate in them regardless of how much the other party persists.
• Stay out of other people’s business. If it does not concern you do not be concerned.
• If necessary, walk away before the conversation turns nasty.
• Remain open and respectful of the other person’s position. Acknowledge their feelings, beliefs, and needs even if you don’t understand or agree with them.
• Be sensitive and kind but firm when necessary. When speaking, be crystal clear and judiciously concise.
• Carefully choose your words, tone of voice, and attitude. Always consider how they would sound to you if the other party said them.
• If the situation becomes heated, know what to say or do to calm things down. A simple validation is often enough. “I can see how important this issue is to you.”
• Don’t take personal offense to what the other party is saying. Their behavior mirrors their inner self and is in no way a reflection of you.

Discussions are a vital aspect of every healthy relationship and enable individuals to acquire greater knowledge of one another, the issue at hand, to find resolution whenever necessary. They also serve as a means to strengthen the rapport between all parties. With a few simple techniques and a bit of restraint, anyone can keep a dialogue civil and productive.

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January Jones-Successonomics-Myles Miller

Myles Miller

Myles Miller

Myles Miller is the founder of Milo Services Enterprises, LLC and the creator of LeadUP.biz. As CEO and Founder, Myles has introduced, to the business world, a progressive and dynamic way of training and pursuing career development. Myles has led corporations, non-profit organizations and thousands of individuals to new heights, allowing them to unlock their hidden potential. Myles brings 30 years of experience in project management and training across varied industries including retail, defense, state and federal government and hospitality and has worked with all sized projects, from small and local to international, costing over $100M up to $500B involving teams from 100 to over 10,000.

Currently living in Harrisburg, PA with his wife and nearby to his daughter, Myles has kept his roots in Central Pennsylvania. But his specialty is stepping outside of the box and going everywhere to assess the needs of teams, people and companies and helping them to become SUCCESS-filled in accomplishing their goals.

Myles has achieved several accomplishments of his own recently and has co-authored with Brian Tracy, an inspirational book called, “Against the Grain.”, which released in early September of this year. He is currently awaiting the release of his next book in December, which he is co-authoring with Steve Forbes, called “Successonomics.

TV Grilling Queen – Chef Elizabeth Karmel- May 27

We love to grill! Ours is a big silvery grill from Home Depot, but we equally enjoy the earthy aroma of charcoal and smoke. While Melanie is more inclined to grill  fresh vegetables or an old fashioned Girl Scout S’More over a small campfire, David loves a plump blackened butt or a fat weiner dog. (I just had to inject my smart ass sense of humor). Of course my first “grills” were a starter George Forman and second-hand hibachi grill on my New York City apartment terrace.

Elizabeth Karmel

Elizabeth Karmel

But we want to discuss Big League Grilling. We invited Grilling Expert Elizabeth Karmel, to join us May 27, 2:28 pmET  on the Connected Table LIVE! to discuss grilling tips. A native of North Carolina, Elizabeth is a chef, author restaurateur, television personality and entrepreneur. She writes a bi-monthly column for the Associated Press called The American Table and is the author of three books: ”Taming the Flame: Secrets for Hot-and-Quick Grilling and Low-and-Slow BBQ”, “Soaked, Slathered & Seasoned: A Complete Guide to Flavoring Food for the Grill,” and “ Pizza on the Grill: 100 Feisty Fire-Roasted Recipes for Pizza & More

Pizza on the GrillSmoked and SlatheredTaming the Flame

Elizabeth is the founding Executive Chef of Hill Country Barbecue Market in New York and Washington, DC and Hill Country Chicken in New York. And she is co-founder of CarolinaCueToGo.com, an “online barbecue shack” e-commerce site specializing in North Carolina whole-hog barbecue seasoned with her own signature Lexington-Style Vinegar Barbecue

As a sought after media personality, Elizabeth is frequently featured in an array of national magazines from Bon Appétit to Better Homes & Gardens, and was named one of the top 100 chefs by Saveur magazine. She appears regularly on all three network morning shows and is a guest judge on Chopped and Iron Chef. She has appeared on a number of Food Network shows and hosted her own special on The Cooking Channel. – posted by Melanie Young

Connect:

http://www.elizabethkarmel.com/

http://www.facebook.com/ElizabethKarmel

http://twitter.com/grillgirl

https://twitter.com/CarolinaCueToGo

Join Melanie and David on The Connected Table LIVE! Wednesdays, 2pm ET on W4CY.com and anytime on iHeart

Join Melanie and David on The Connected Table LIVE! Wednesdays, 2pm ET on W4CY.com and anytime on iHeart

Here’s the link to listen to all our shows on iHeart and the IHeart App anytime, anywhere, Please Like and Share

http://www.iheart.com/show/209-The-Connected-Table-Live